Fall Q&A with Carissa and Alana

The last few months our blogs and podcasts have been a little heavy, so we wanted to lighten things up with a fun Q&A. Side note: the podcast file corrupted so there is only a blog this month :(

Q1: Do you enjoy what you do for a living and how do you listen to such hard stories all the time?

Carissa: "I love it. I absolutely love. My job, I love being a therapist, love being a Kambo practitioner, love it all.

Um, is it, is it hard? I don't, I don't see it that way. I don't feel that way.

Um, I think I just, I automatically see hope and strength and perseverance and resilience and all the things. And I think just with my own life experience, I know that anything is possible.

And so, When I hear the hard stories, I just see hope. And so I don't take it on personally myself."

Alana: "I also love what I do. I've often even like talked to my husband about like, what would we do if we won the lottery? I'd still do this. I just wouldn't do it full time because I'd also be traveling.

Uh, but I don't think that I would give this work up. It just feels like where I'm supposed to be.

And yeah, sometimes there are some really hard stories and people are going through some really difficult things. But I also know that it matters that even if there's really nothing you can do about the hard thing, that there's somewhere for people to just talk about it and for it to land. And that sometimes that's enough.

Also reminding myself that, you know, the people that I'm working with, I get this little glimpse into their life and they have dealt with their hard things before me and they will deal with their hard things after me because people have an incredible amount of strength in them that we don't even know is there in us. Until we have to find it."

Carissa: "Absolutely. I just feel, yeah, I feel very thankful to be in this space to just to I always hate saying being in a space to hold space, but I guess that's what it is, being in a space to hold space for others to feel safe. And to help hold that light for them to move through the hard."

Alana: "And like we get to watch people move through that in real time and sometimes get to like bring their attention to it like you know, six months ago we would have had the same conversation and it would have looked very different and there's been some change and some shift and so even being able to like just hold up a mirror for people sometimes."

Q2: Any book recommendations?

Carissa: "I think everyone should have a copy of The Mountain Is You: Transforming Self-Sabotage Into Self-Mastery by Brianna Wiest. Because it literally covers. everything in a very short, easy to read book, but just the way that it's written, it's very real and raw without it being um, too in your face about change and self-care.

Like the um, toxic positivity. Reframing perspective in a very, a very kind, intelligent, yet affirmative way."

Alana: "I always have like a million. book recommendations. Um, there's two that I read over the summer- actually, both of them I'm rereading- that I found really helpful.

Um, one that I think is is a really good one for parents who have children who are struggling with mental health is "I Can Fix This and Other Lies I Told Myself While Parenting My Struggling Child" by Kristina Kuzmic.

She talks about her struggle to find balance, to let go of the 'shoulds' of parenting and the judgment and just meet her kid where he was at and where he needed her to be in such a real way that it validates the struggle of parenting. Really even if you don't have a child who's got significant mental illness, parenting is hard.

And to be able to just read about her trying to figure out how to let go of, like, 'I have to get my kid to get really good grades and I have to get my kid to clean their room' and to go down to the basics of, like, my kid just needs a hug.

Um, and then the other book uh that I really liked was "I Hate You, Don't Leave Me:

Understanding the Borderline Personality" by Hal Strauss and Gerald Chrisman.

I've had quite a few clients over the years that have diagnoses of borderline personality disorder or borderline traits. So I've been on this this journey of understanding more and this particular book it doesn't just like give you a list of symptoms and tell you what BPD is, it also gives you like case examples but written by people that helps you understand what it feels like.

Which is different.

Because It's one thing to say like that person will have like, you know, one minute they love you and the next minute they hate you, but to explain how that feels to them- that it's like they love you, but if there's something that happens that hurts them or disappoints them that they either have to see themselves as bad or you as bad and so you're the bad one, because that's easier than hating themselves.

That sits differently in me. Because it's it's hard on the end of the person who's supporting them, but it's also really hard living with it."

Carissa: "I also find it fascinating to read books about different mental health conditions and physical health conditions because we live in a society where I mean, it's full of these um diagnoses and just to be able to understand someone who is maybe flipping out in a grocery store. Instead of being judgmental, um to just sit back and be like, oh, you know, whatever they may be going through is um obviously not easy. And to just look at them and hold the space for kindness.

I think that's what I like about reading these books is I just look at people differently."

Q3:If you were a therapist, what would you be?

Carissa: "I would be an artist. And actually I am an artist as well. [It would just be my main source of income]. , I would love to do art all time.

Um, I would also still love to work with my family.

I grew up in family business. And I loved working with them.

And now my sister has, you know, taken over my father's store and it's just a fun place to be at. If I didn't go down this road, I would probably stay with them and continue to work with them. I just, I love it."

Alana: "Probably I would have opened like my own bakery. Um, I like I used to really like making wedding cakes and, like, specialty birthday cakes. Um, when I could stand for hours and not feel like I was going to fall over. So I'd probably be running that.

Um, or I would have kept working at singing and made it big on Canadian Idol and I'd be on the radio. Haha."

Carissa: "I had this dream of opening up an art gallery and having a coffee shop and there was actually a building in Saskatoon I had my eye on, I just used to drive by it and just dream.

And I even wrote a business proposal once upon a time, but then the building was demolished and so was the dream.

But it sounds like with my art dream and your bakery dream, maybe we would still meet and be friends and open up a place like that. Maybe we'd still be business partners, just in a different way, in a different life, as a baker and artist."

Alana: "Probably!"

Q4: What scary movie has scarred you for life, or, freaked you out the most?

Carissa: "Well, there was two. And they were both scary.

And the one was called Dolls.

And I actually me and my brother tricked my grandmother into renting it for us and we watched it and scared the boogeyman out of me for a very long time."

Alana: "how old were you?"

Carissa: "Eight or nine, maybe. Um, I was a very imaginative, uh, playful, um, child.

I liked make believe. I played with dolls and Barbies and all the toys and everything came to life. So everything came to life.

And after watching that movie, I was scared that my dolls were going to come to life and um, kill me. And so I became very religious about memorizing how my dolls were sitting, positioned, where they were. I would um, I would wake up and check to make sure that they hadn't moved.

So at a very young age, I had very poor sleep habits."

Alana: "I'm laughing, but just wait till you hear what mine is!"

Carissa: "Yeah, and I just couldn't, I for You know, I I still think about it actually when I see dolls and they're especially the ones with the eyelids open and shut. Um, yeah, and some of my family members are very, they could watch scary movies and it was just like, like how you talk about scary movies where it's just, it's just not realistic and they just make me mad because people are dumb about dealing with ghosts and things. All the gory stuff is just makeup.

No, everything becomes real and possible for me.

And so I would hyperfixate on absolutely anything, everything. And that I believe is where my intrusive thoughts. got the best of me and took over my life for many years."

Alana: "Okay, that's your first one. Put a pin in your second one.

So, yes, when I watch scary movies now, they don't bug me. I laugh about how stupid they are, unrealistic they are. Especially like, oh, I'm in high heels and I'm going to run up the stairs and hide in the closet. No, run out the door, get in your car and run the dude over.

Why are we scurrying around? Like what?

But when I was younger, the movie that scarred me was Child's Play, the Chucky movie, to the point that I had, I collected, you know, those like little um they were clowns, but they were like filled with sand and they had the porcelain heads? And porcelain dolls.

And was convinced that if I accidentally knocked one over or I was mean to it, it was going to murder me. So much that as an adult when I got rid of my porcelain dolls, I had to make sure that I re-homed them to a friend I knew took very good care of porcelain dolls so they wouldn't come and find me and kill me.

So, Same. Also messed up about dolls. So apparently, haunted murderous dolls was a thing for both of us. What was your other one?"

Carissa: " I don't even know if I can't even speak it, it scares me. I watched it while I was out at my aunt's farm. And it scarred me for life. It was, yeah, the Exorcist. I can't, I've even tried rewatching it as an adult. And no, I just, I can't.

Um, and Pet Sematary. Those, those three, like my entire life's fears were around those movies, cats, like the dead cat in Pet Cemetery.

Okay, I actually have anxiety right now.

Dolls, cats, exorcism."

Alana: "Jump scares get me because I'm not paying attention half the time and then something's on screen and I'm like, what was that? But jump scares scare me in real life too. but yeah, [scary, gory movies don't] bother me except was it House of Wax? No, House of a Thousand Corpses. Um, because there's scenes in that movie where like there's gore that happens to like the achilles tendon and toes and I as you know, I don't like people touching my feet. I don't know why I have a thing about feet.

Probably from the movie."

Q5: What is your favourite fall activity?

Carissa: "Walking in the leaves. looking at all the colors in the trees. I love dressing cozy, but not too hot. And I love soups and stews and just snuggling on a couch or sitting outside in the smell of the air. I love fall so much. I love the way that the leaves will fall from the trees, it's like rain. I love watching. the birds, by south.

I just think, I mean, it's there's more activity in the sky in fall.

They get, they fly up in the sky and it's like they're all dancing around and trying to get in order and then like, oh, false alarm, we actually don't have to fly south yet.

And then they come back down.

Autumn is one of my favorite seasons. And I, I honestly, it does excite me that it's going to be colder. Not cold cold where it's, you know, you don't want to go outside because you're going to freeze and you can only see anything but white. But I do like the colder weather."

Alana: "My favorite fall activity is all the things around Halloween, Halloween crafts. decorating my house for Halloween. Uh, watching my daughter who absolutely loves Halloween. Last year we actually kept our Halloween decorations up through Christmas, so we had had a half Halloween tree, half Christmas tree. Uh, carving pumpkins, all of that Halloween stuff. Watching scary movies with my kids, going to haunted houses, all the spooky stuff. Candy. All the candy, trick or treating, dressing up."

Q6: What song or movie makes you think of fall?

Carissa: "Okay. It doesn't make me think of fall.

But when you said movie and song, I was thinking of Back to the Beach with Annette Funicello and Frankie Avalon, the ska song."

Alana: "I don't know what that is"

Carissa: " Have you ever ska'd?"

Alana: "Like, skiddly-boop, that whole thing?"

Carissa: "No. Look up the ska song and learn how to ska."

Alana: "My is Hocus Pocus and I uh, obviously I put a spell on you from Hocus Pocus.

But also as soon as I said the question, the song that came into my head was "Spooky, scary skeletons send shivers down my spine" because my daughter [used to] sing that song."

Carissa: "365 days a year"

Alana: "Pretty much! So look up Spooky Scary Skeletons too if you haven't heard it"

There you have it. Now you know us a little bit better as real humans uh who sit on this couch and do therapy.

As usual, go take care of yourselves.

Make some time for you, too.